Pfffft

RM and I had a tiff. I thought I was upset because his sister once again ruined our plan. I was wrong. I'm mad at him. He jsut proved that he is a selfish poopy head. Something he doesn't do very often but when he does it brings a reaction out in me that is born of 15 years (or more) of being put at the end of the line.

Now before you light me up, let me say that I know I should not make him pay for what someone else did. What I am trying to tell you is that this touches something so deep in my psyche that I don't think I will ever be able to not react this way. If that makes any sense.

RM was suppose to come to KC this weekend. He didn't because his sister is visiting his family in Tulsa. Now this in and of itself is not a problem. The problem arose because he did not include me in his change of plans. He just decided that he would come up next weekend.

Putting aside the fact that none of his family can't tell his sister no, this was so not her. It's kind of like blaming the other woman for your cheating spouse when the blame lays squarely on your significant other for not being able to keep it in his pants.

The way I explained it was that WE had plans. When his sister made her plans, HE changed OUR plans with out talking to me first. HE needs to start thinking in terms of US instead of ME and WE instead of I. And thus gaining the dubious honor of being Mr. Selfish Poopy Head.

This all stems back to when I was married (or insert any other relationship I have had) I was always expected to be there. I was the last thing he took care of at the end of the day. Meaning, if I needed my brakes done on my car and his friend needed the brakes done on his car, the friend would take priority over me. This went on for 5 years until I had enough of this and his other shenanigans. I never came first. Never. I spent ten years trying to get over what he had done to me. This instance was just the tip of the iceberg. Think Titanic.

Anyway, I said that I would not tolerate it in my next relationship and I won't. This is the last time it will happen. I can forgive allot and I have. This is a deal breaker. I am giving up my entire life for him. I am moving away from my family. I have given up a great job. All for him. I will not be dismissed like I have no feelings or opinions in the matter.

Yes, I know RM reads this blog. No I am not airing dirty laundry. Well... maybe I am but I don't do it often. Is it fair that the interwebs now knows about this? Probably not. But I needed somewhere to put it and this is my blog and this is where I put stuff when it is eating at me.

One last thought...

... if he had said "Honey, I know we had planned for me to come to KC the weekend of the 7th but LW is coming to Tulsa that weekend and I would really like to spend some time with her, would you mind if I came up the next weekend instead?"

I would have said OK and none of this would have happened and I would not have hurt feelers now. That is what you get when you think in terms of I instead of WE when you are in a relationship.