The Move

Whew!

I'm glad that is finished! Honestly, things went very well. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend weather wise, better friends (Sorry PM I did not see your note until today!), or a better move!

I'm still recovering!

I can't want

It goes with out saying that I am tired. I got on the elevator after lunch today and couldn't remember what floor I worked on. Good thing I had a friend with me and she punch the button and made fun of me.

Last night as I was moving things in to Hotel Mom and Dad, I kept forgetting words or getting stuck on them. They were in my brain but would not come out. It's like I had lost the connection between my mouth and my brain. Mom told me to get some rest.

So what did I do? While I was watching Project Runway, I was putting my hanging clothes into bags to make them easier to move. This would be my t-shirts and non-dressy clothes. The dressy clothes are staying on the hangers. Yeah, so I am an hour late getting to bed anyway so I decided that I needed to do more.

Today, my throat is sore. I can barely talk (that is not a bad thing according to some people) and I'm a wee nauseous. One thing is for sure, if I get up tomorrow without a migraine or puking then I will consider myself lucky. All this to tell you a college memory where I felt exactly like the same.

I had a paper due and a retreat all in the same weekend. The paper was due on Monday and had to be typed. At this point in my life I used the biblical method, seek and ye shall find, of typing. My roommate however was a whiz. She was mad at me for one reason or another and wouldn't type it for me, even for cash, but she did let me use her typewriter. She had to go to the retreat also. Oh, I might note that this was in the days before personal computers. It would be four more years before IBM would launch its line.

I had gotten the paper written before we left. I enjoyed the retreat and got very little sleep. I actually remember waking up on my stomach with my arms curled underneath me and the tops of my feet on some strange guys back in an effort to keep them warm. A bunch of us had stayed up talking and ended up in a puppy pile sleeping. Man I miss those days.

Anyway, I get back to the dorm Sunday afternoon and start typing a three or four page paper, double spaced. It took me until freaking midnight to get it done. That would be 6 -8 hours. The next morning I guess my body had had enough and rebelled. Not only had I lost my voice but I couldn't keep anything down. I got my paper turned in on time but barely and missed the remainder of my classes that day.

It did payoff in the end. I got an A on the paper and the prof made me read it out loud to the class. I was sooo thrilled and embarrassed at the same time. Therefore, if history repeats itself, this will work out the same way too, just without the embarrassment.

Ps. LW did stay in town,so RM will be coming in to drive the truck. I have put an SOS out on Facebook for help to unload and I know at least one other person will be helping unload. Thank goodness for friends you can impose on!

Nervous as a June Bug in a Hen House

(Guess what movie/book THAT quote is from!)

Anyway, the migration south starts tomorrow. I have the maps, confirmation e-mails and payment coupons, printed. Everything is packed, except for my bed. So now all I have to do is wait.

I got a lot of pressure to take tomorrow off from my co-workers but what the heck would I do all day...wait? I would rather do that at work where I can at least look like I am busy. I did however take their advice and take Monday off, pending an OK from my boss. At least I'll be able to get the apartment cleaned and walked, my laundry done and a space carved out in the basement.

Whew. I am tired just thinking about it. So if I don't see you until next week. Be good!

Whew!

The packing is done. Done I tell you. Finished. Finito. Well except for the stuff I am still using.

I am ready to move my stuff to my Mom and Dad's Thursday night. The stuff that is staying with me here in KC. The remainder will be loaded up on the truck Saturday morning and hauled all the way back to Tulsa.

Then I get to rush back here and clean. yay.

I hate to move. I don't know anyone who likes it.

My MIL2B is still in the hospital. She broke her leg Saturday evening and had surgery to repair it on Monday. I spoke with her briefly yesterday and she was way hopped up on pain pills. They are talking about sending her to a inpatient rehab center straight from the hospital. We will know more today.

I have recruited my BWOB (brother without the blog) to drive in case RM can't make it up to KC on Friday. Apparently, LW can't be bothered with anyone else and is returning to STL today. Whatever. The Bubby or the brother with the blog, will catch us on the receiving end to help unload.

We will see how this unfolds. It certainly is never boring in my life.

Countdown in single digits

5 days!

And I am still not finished packing.

5 days!

And I am so tired I can't think.

5 days!

And RM's Mom is in the hospital due to a broken leg.

5 days!

I'll make it.

5 words on this weeks Top CHef

It is about damn time.

If you've seen the episode you will know what I am talking about.

I got nothing

I've written two posts and I couldn't post them. I am feeling soooo lame at the moment.

I've gotten a lot done but I am starting to lose myself in the process. I am giving up my parents, job and my independence. I am going to have to redefine myself shortly. I am not sure if the Herculean effort is appreciated. At least my brother said that he would be worried about me if I wasn't scared.

It is a huge leap of faith for me to do this. I have had a couple of dreams where RM has left me. I shocked a friend when I told her that I found this comforting. To me it means that I am fully invested in my relationship with RM. Which is a good thing because I was sure that I would never be in a relationship like this again. This is the way it should of been the first time. Eh, live and learn.

Part of my fear is that I am not sure that RM understands what I am going through. I haven't seen him and talking on the phone gets me nothing in terms of where I stand. I am insecure about his feelings for me and when things like what happened on Friday happen then it does nothing to secure me.

My biggest fear is that I will forever be put second behind his family. I will not live like this again. It goes back to my first marriage and the way I was treated nay abused. It's a long story and it wasn't physical but emotional and there are still scars. The majority have healed well but some are still on the surface and I knew that they would not be able to be dealt with until I had given my heart to another. I know that he is my number one. I am not sure that I am his. I won't be until I continue my journey and we attempt to become one. There is a reason you are suppose to do this when you are young and impetuous.